So after a fit of tears and listening to my boyfriend bullshit for a few hours, he decided to dump me because he wants to be a fisherman in Copenhagen or Norway, without me. The problem itself is very complicated and I don't think I understand it fully either.
I thought he was the best thing in my life and I've always waited for him to provide me with some sort of security. I thought I felt emotionally secure with him, I realize now I never was. He wasn't a bad person if you don't count his reckless behavior and selfish mindset.
I care about him and wanted to share a life with him and I thought that was what he wanted. Only to be told that he'd like me as a friend but not as a girlfriend. Imagine my surprise. I usually have a pity party with myself after a break up and feel horrible. This time it was different.
At first I was crushed beyond my imagination, I was so hurt that I called my parents at 3am. To my surprise they talked to me for hours and assure me that I will have a future without him and he's stupid and doesn't deserve me. I was good enough, it was him who wasn't good enough for me. I was willing to live a life without luxury with him but instead he gave me shit.
I felt cheated, used, and hurt. But my parents reminded me what I always wanted a men. Someone who can take care of me and make me feel safe. Though my dad is not perfect, he did his best to provide me that, and I admire that. It wasn't easy, but he always stuck it out because he care.
I'm glad I had something to fall back to and know that if anything bad happens I can always run home and hide. After talking to my parents, I realize I've always wanted to dump him and have always have an issue with the way he treats money. I was surprise how much I thought he was a money gobbler. On top of that, I realize I have friends. Not a lot bur I do, and they are good people.
When life is tough, we need people to point out the good to us so that we might hang in there for another day and hope that the sun will shine again. I'm broken up over the break up but I didn't regret it. It had to come at some point when your boyfriend made a point to tell you that you are nothing but an addition in his life and he can afford to loose you any moment. Shit happens everyday, life is about solving one problem after another, love is about sticking together through those problems. Sadly, he couldn't understand that. He make sure I know, that if something happen, he will leave me behind and run off to "solve it"
He offer me his friendship out of pity or some sense of superiority, I'm glad I told him to shove it. I don't need a friend who turn on his word and make a point to let me know I'm not worth shit to him. I can say loud and proud today without shame or fear, I deserve someone better than him. I think everyone deserves someone who won't walk out on them when life is tough.
My dad says I should keep the ring or chuck it, to that I say -- sent it back to him so he can choke on it --the very same words he said to his ex-fiance. I should have seen the signs.
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