2012 Review

Within an hour, the last day of 2012 will begin. Looking back at what happen this year, I've reach the highest peak of the mountains and decended to the depths of the valley.

I felt like the luckiest women alive, got engage and lost it all within 6 months. I visited eastern Europe and have tasted love and seen snowflakes. I've also have the opportunity to experience the lost of a planned future and learn to be grateful for what I have each and everyday.

It was hard to look back as I could not emotionally recall how good I felt when he ask me to marry him (thank you trusty brain ;) ). I guess my brain is still not ready to emotionally digest it. Nor am I able to recall the horrible feelings I felt when he left me. All that remains are the facts of what happened, its like my emotions were deleted over night. Not a bad thing as I believe my brain knows best and will bring them to light when the time is right.

I cried about my high school heartbreaks 6 years later lol. As long as you are true to your feelings no one can fault you on that. So what's my new year's resolution? Here are some of them!

1. Work out at least once a day
2. Keep an open mind and meet new people.
3. Make choices that makes me happy instead of others
4. Do what makes me happy and learn to be happy alone
5. Get my own place and move out :)

I try to remind myself these are merely goals not expectations. I've already plan to get myself a whiteboard and set daily goals to motivate and help me through my bad days. If I don't have a man to give me a reason to wake up everyday, I'll give myself a reason to!

I've seen too many people that hand over their lives to those who hurt them. He doesn't deserve to have power over any part of my life. I deserve to be love, to be happy, to do what I love with or without him.

Today was a good day, watched My Little Pony for the first time and loved it. Made me feel like I was reliving my childhood, save, happy, and cuddly. Now that I have more time, I am thinking of joining the gym, taking cooking classes, or college groups just to meet new people. I could possibly rekindle my old interest such as writting ( I attempt to wrote a novel once, got a lot of positive feedback), playing the piano, stitching, reading, puzzles, the posibility is endless.

I still miss the relationship, being able to hang out and have that connection. But until I can be happy on my own, no one can make me feel complete. I will simply end up suffocating the next guy that comes around. This whole time, life have been trying to teach me a lesson, that I need to change and sometimes, you just can't plan your life. You have to go with it and be positive, lift your head up high and make the best of it. Usually it is when I have the least that I am able to be thankful for the little things that I have.

2013, although I wish things would have been different, I am ready to face you and am excited to see what happens. 2012 will always be a memorable year, for better or for worst. Tonight, Jere and Crisi wanted me to be a part of their family and ask me if I would want to be their adopted daughter. It made me cry, if things work out with Thomas, I would never have the mum and dad that I do now. Thank you.