Saturday, August 23, 2014

When curiosity kills the cat

There are some people that are not meant to be in your life. Curiosity does kill the cat, or in some cases shits in your heart and your mind. Sitting at a busy restaurant, laughing, having a good time, seeing all the familiar faces and how everyone is happy, the connection and friendship. Turning to my left and watching how someone I love who love me equally just as much is smiling and laughing and looking at me with a twinkle in his eye. It makes me realize this is where I want to be. This is where I belong.

It's not that I want to go back to that shitty hell or ever dream of reliving it. The parting was so painful, so empty and so hollow without resolution nor reason that I wanted something. An ending. I don't know if knowing why would helped. I guess all I wanted was an apology, and admittance that I was wronged that he shit on one of the best thing that ever happen to his life. I just want to see him suffer and pay for the pain that he caused me.

But reading alphabets that I know were typed by that very monster makes me sick. It makes my stomach churn and upsets me and leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. It robs me of what I have now. I deserve to be happy, to be treated right and I got it and I have to protect it from scoundrels like him.

To hear him say how regret he is of what he did and that seeing me happy makes him happy, it just makes me sick. If you are so regretful how about an apology? How about paying me back? How about sending my stuff back? Nothing. I don't give a shit how you feel I could care less if you die from this supposed guilt you spoke of. Should I be empathetic and feel for you because you feel guilty? Fuck off. You left me with a fake engagement ring and that's one thing, to come back and insult me by expecting some form of sympathy, you gotta be kidding.

Stay the fuck away from me. You can shove that $700 dollars up your ass or use it to repair your mum's goddamn roof. My clothes? Next time when you are shoving your own fist up your ass you can bite on them. Of all the people that died, I wish God took you instead of Robbie Williams.

There are two reasons why some people are no longer in your life, they never wanted to be there or you kick them out and they deserve to stay there.

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