Starting a new chapter of your life is exciting. Everything is new, a new beginning, new friends, new school, new environment. You'd think everything will go smoothly, but somehow, somewhere, in some corner, there's your shadow. Reminding me that I could never be too cautious. That I will always have to watch every step I take, every move I make, because if I don't the consequences could be dire.
There are times when you are more than a shadow in my thoughts. There are times where you latch on to my mind and wouldn't let go like a virus. Attacking everything that is good in my thoughts and reminding me why everything went wrong and blaming me for everything.
I want to let go, but I can't. Part of me is too scared, part of me just wants to pretend you're not there. I hate it, I hate how you still have a hold on my thoughts, part of my mind, part of my life, and part of me. I just want to move on. I know you're one of a kind, so cruel that it would be a damn miracle to bump into another you in a life time. But I can't risk it.
It took me 6 months to stop crying and get back on my feet. It'll take a while for me to get rid of you and that's okay. If people don't love me enough to understand that, than they shouldn't be around. Those who matter won't mind, those who mind don't matter.
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