Since my last post, a lot has happen. I'm finally home and am working with my mum on her cookie business. Bought a new phone and started looking up graduate schools. Planning to work on my statement of purpose this weekend. After he left, life have been better. I do more for myself, I examine my motives behind my actions more often. And my journey thus far have been successful.
I've tried to convince myself many things over the course of my life, for some reason I don't think I'm good enough to be able to find something better. I know in my heart of hearts that I can never be with someone who would not put me first and have a train of baggage. But somehow, I'm able to convince myself to "like" someone with a different kind of baggage and call it "circumstances". If there was one thing he was right about, it was the fact that I have horrible taste in men.
I've been learning to wait and simply be me. Being accepted and having a good time doesn't mean you have to date them. It's ok not to date nice people, it's not rude to do that. I've learn so much and change so much for the better because of that relationship, I can't say I'm not glad it happened.
Even though I recently found out the ring was fake, I was shock at how peaceful I felt. I was disappointed and shock, but I wasn't angry. Maybe I'm just tired of being angry, tired of being let down, tired of being tired. Sometimes moving on is more of a choice than a feeling. You just have to make a choice to start a process.
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